Finding a Purpose — On Futures, Fasts, and Finally Feeling Okay

A personal update · Digital Diary

Lately, I’ve been quite self-aware — about my future, my direction, and what I actually want my life to look like. I’ve been thinking about my career more seriously, and somewhere along the way, a quiet but firm realization settled in:

I want to live my life — not just survive it.

I want to travel the world — or at the very least, visit ten countries before I’m done dreaming about it. I want to stop feeling guilty about my past, stop pitying myself for it, and just… move forward.

A Small but Real Update

And honestly? Things are getting better.

It feels strange to say that after the last few months, but it’s true. I’ve been sleeping soundly for a few days now, and I’ve been waking up feeling genuinely refreshed — which, if you know me, is kind of a big deal.

One odd thing though: I’ve been dreaming a lot lately. I’m not sure what that’s about, but I’ll take vivid dreams over restless nights any day.

I haven’t been doing my morning exercises, though. Mostly because I’m fasting right now and I’m genuinely afraid I’ll dehydrate myself or collapse halfway through — so I’m giving myself a pass on that for now.

On Studies & Exams

I’ll be honest — keeping up with studies is still a struggle. But I’m working on it.

I’ve shifted my focus toward CUET and I’m also keeping an eye out for other opportunities. JEE is brilliant for those who can conquer it, but I’ve come to accept that it’s simply not my path — and that’s okay.

New Habits I’m Excited About

📝 I’m aiming to write in this digital diary at least three times a week — holding myself to that.
📓 I also started a paper journal! It was honestly chaotic at first — I sat there completely confused, staring at a blank page — but I scrambled something together eventually. Baby steps.

Here’s to figuring it out, one page at a time. 🌱

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Last edited Mar 02